kitty pi

Reason #76,986 Why I Love Mr. Q...

A few weeks ago, after trying to figure out our taxes and on the verge of a total breakdown, me and C. went outside just to get a breath of fresh air. He said the most brilliant thing. But first, some background.

CQ and I have been together for a long time in one way or another: best friends 13 years. We met at work in our early 20s and we've been smitten ever since. We've been living together 5 years and married for 9 months. We are newlyweds! We were never sure when or how we'd get married, because in every sense but the legal one, we were married already. Long story short, in a fit of romanticism last summer, we snuck off and got married. It was June 1st, it was just the two of us in our flip-flops and t-shirts, and we were married at 4:20 in the afternoon. The judge who married us, having never met us before the ceremony, pronounced us "best friends for life and man and wife". We were (and still are) really happy and still goofy in love. (awwww)

When we called our parents after the wedding, they were all beside themselves with joy. CQ's parents were always very supportive of us being & living together, but it really made them happy that we made it official. My parents actually never acknowledged our relationship because they did not approve of us living in sin. So, they were (or at least my mom was) ecstatic!
Other than making our parents happy, and me getting to change my last name, nothing has changed. We don't feel differnt, we haven't changed anything about our situation. We still share all the bills, have joint bank accounts, raise my daughter and his son, drive the same cars, work the same jobs, shop the same stores. Nothing has changed. Except now we owe taxes. Not just a little. A lot. It is a depressing situation for me and will make our life quite uncomfortable for at least the next month while we figure out how to pay the taxes. I am very bitter and upset about this mainly because nothing has changed for us, except our tax bill. Plus I will probably lose my financial aid at school. All because the government found out that we share a dual income.

So, back to the original point of this post. During our conversation, through the process of talking it out, CQ points out that since the only real benefit we have gotten since getting married is making our parents happy, it was still worthwhile to get married (we wanted to anyway). They have sacrificed and given us so much. They continue to be extremely generous to us. In that way, having to pay more taxes is a small price to pay to give our parents this small happiness. It is a worthy sacrifice.

Now, I already know what people are thinking. So before I get any comments, I want to clarify a few things. I never, ever condone doing something to make your parents happy. If you do something you don't want to do just to please your parents, that is stupid. However, if you do something YOU want to do and as a bonus, it makes your parents happy, that's cool. That's what we did.

The second thing is I don't mind paying taxes and I don't want to avoid paying them, but I don't think it is cool or fair that we have to pay more taxes now even though we are deriving no more benefit. I know we should have changed our withholding to avoid this situation but we didn't. Anyway, the point of this was that we have to pay more (right or wrong) and we are trying to feel good about it in someway. Is this a sophisticated rationalization? Perhaps. I don't know. The point is this:

My husband rocks in so many ways, I will never be able to adequately express how awesome he is. That he can find some personal reward in a slightly messed up situation is just amazing. I love his perspective on everything. I am his number one fan, and I don't expect anyone but me to get him. If other people do, that is also a bonus. I think it totally bites that we are basically being penalized for getting married (how's that for family values?). But I would give up a whole year's salary just to be with him if I had to. Even more.

In summary (and to shamelessly rip off a cheesy credit card commercial):
Tax software: $30
Tax bill: $1,000,000 (it might as well be)
Being with the most awesome man in the world: priceless.

posted by Anita at 11:00 AM