kitty pi

A case of the Thumpers

I've been getting a case of the Thumpers. You know,

Thumper: [clears throat] If you can't say something nice... don't say nothing at all.

That's a problem because that leaves me practically nothing to write about!

I want to like people and I want to spread joy and happiness everywhere I go, but lately people have really been getting on my nerves. I mean, not just getting on my nerves, but really making me feel a wee bit hostile. And then I feel like a bad person because I have no tolerance for annoying people.

I think a 'no tolerance for asshats' policy is appropriate. I think a 'no tolerance for stupidity' policy is also acceptable. But this is worse. It's just people that annoy me and, again, I am feeling like a really mean person!

You think I am exaggerating? I know I will regret putting this is writing. It will probably come back to haunt me. But I have to give some examples. Maybe someone can help me overcome my extreme irritability (and before you get all "are you getting you period?"- Yes, I am getting my period, but this goes back further than the PMS, thankyouverymuch.

Exhibit I, People who annoy me:

• my retarded neighbor - constant talking, laughing, being nosy, whistling, being nosy some more, never shutting up.
• her pothead husband- who collects her disability checks. Wow, you actually got a job last week? Good for you.
• my sick neighbor- hawking and spitting the mega loogeys (TM) morning, noon, and night. Not having a job.
• my young neighbors- Monday nights are not for partying. You'll figure this out when you get real jobs.
• interns - the world does not revolve around you.
• everyone on the freeway - you need a bigger truck. And you need to drive like more of an asshole.
• everyone at the supermarket - you need to talk louder on your cell phone, walk slower and park your cart right in the middle of the aisle more.
• everyone at the bank - I know you hate your job, but would it kill you to say 'hello' to your customers?
• everyone everywhere - everyone just seems so whiny it is starting to affect me! I try to be impervious to your negativity but I think you are starting to win. I am officially starting to loathe everyone!

You want to save humanity, but it's people you just can't stand - John Lennon

/rant

posted by Anita at 1:47 PM