Pretentious? Moi?
In an effort to further inflame familial relations and annoy the f*** out of my parents next month at our family reunion, I am beginning to practice and hone the fine art of being a snob. I don't need a lot of practice, but for the past few years I've been on a bit of an anti-pretentious bent mainly because Orange County is one of the capitals of pretentiousness and I find it rather ridiculous. Also, I tend to do that which is opposite of the mainstream. I am starting my snob-training with simple terminology since I need a refresher due to living in slacker surf-town and thus our neighbors' vocabulary consists mainly of "dude, where's the beer?" or "dude, where did I leave my bong?". The other part of OC where I work is all Republican and all-spoiled (with their nannies and their trips to Europe and their home remodels). Me and Mr. Quilty quietly try to blaze our own trail and avoid the fray wherever possible. Along the way, we've noticed subtle things which make us laugh and which will surely irritate/befuddle/amuse my parents (who don't live any where near the West Coast).
One of my favorite Orange County-isms: When going to the mall, or what is known at Chez Quilty as "Teenage Buttcrack Land", the food court at the mall is not called the "Food Court". Instead, it is the "Dining Veranda". Who wants to go on a date at the food court, when you can go to the Dining Veranda? Of course, it really is a notch above most food courts. Even the girls at Hot Dog on a Stick are slightly classier than average, I suppose, even with their exposed butt-cleavage.
I know this isn't unique to Orange County but will irritate my parents nonetheless:
I do not drive a used car. It is "pre-owned". (Plus it's Scandinavian so that is a bonus!)
I buy "vintage" clothing (at the thrift store). Or, I will when I can afford to buy anything at all!
I never eat spaghetti. I do eat "linguine with organic tomato, basil and garlic sauce".
I only make gourmet macaroni and cheese. And my Asian Noodles, i.e., ramen, are the best in town.
We go to the "cinema" to see "films", not the movie theater.
The list goes on and on but you get the point. For my family reunion, we are going to Las Vegas on NASCAR weekend which, I think, means above-average numbers of people who are - how can I put this? - not like us. In an effort to blend in with the crowd, perhaps I'll buy Mr. Q a wife-beater tank and see how drunk I need to get him before he'll put it on. Somehow, I don't think there is enough alcohol in all of Las Vegas for that to happen.
Since Mr. Quilty and my parents have never met, and he is sure to offend their delicate Red State sensibilities anyway, it is my earnest hope that we can at least go in well-armed with the latest high-falutin' intellectualism we can muster. I do love my parents, but since they have always thought I was a snob, and Mr. Q doesn't have a shred of white-trash in him, I am quite sure they will be disappointed if we don't go all out for their entertainment.
Rx: Simplify your life and call me in the morning
Today at lunch, I went to the doctor for my twice or thrice yearly check-up. She recently moved to a new place really close to where I work. Her new office is beautiful and very spa-like, except without all the prissy, plastic-fantastic trophy wives you usually find in a spa here. Anyway, we talked about my "condition" which is an elevated level of thyroid hormone (that's not good) and how I've been feeling in general lately (pretty crappy). The real condition, as Mr. Quilty can attest, is that I am a mental patient 4 out of 5 days. If you have ever had any kind of metabolic imbalance you might know what I'm talking about. If not, then you are lucky. Unbalanced hormones = I am a Basketcase.
Since the thyroid gland I have is supposed to be out-of-commission permanently due to radiation treatment 2 years ago, I have to take a supplement everyday. It took a year to get the doseage right but after 9 months, I found out it was too much. I figured that since I am such a freak I probably grew a new thyroid or something and that's why everything is too high.
Apparently, and thankfully, that is not the case. Dr. J seems to think that quitting smoking (which I only partially did, but she doesn't know that) and a variety of other factors are the real reason I am all f'dup. She says I will feel much, much better in about 4 weeks, but she also seems to subscribe to the philospohy that I am doing too much. Says I need to relax. Well, duh! If only I had known before! I could've saved an hour of my day, not to mention a wee bit o' dough if only I had known.
Here is my life in review at this moment:
Married, happily.
One teenage daughter living at home; Just got her learner's permit (eek! grey hairs are popping out of my head as I type this).
One cat who pees in the shower and humps anyone who will sit still longer than 30 seconds (he's fixed already so getting him fixed won't solve that problem).
Work: 45-50 hours per week. I'm a baby-sitter, um, I mean Executive Assistant, for two very busy executives. In reality, I think that means I am just a really poorly paid executive.
College classes 3 nights per week. Homework, sometimes.
Bills - all of them late.
Car - overdue for service. But on this I have nothing to complain about since Mr. Q drives a Jeep with only a safari top even when it rains or it's 40 degrees outside and sometimes even when it rains AND it's 40 degrees outside. We'll get you a new top soon, beebs!
That doesn't really sound like a lot to me, but everything is relative. I did an exercise last semester where you had to write a list of all the tasks that you needed to do in the next week. Of course, I wrote a long list of "pay the bills, get organized, clean the bathroom", and so on. The very next exercise went something like this: If you only had a month to live, how many things on that list would you do? It was a complete no-brainer. There wasn't a single thing I would've done. Well, I might've hired someone to clean the bathroom. I don't think I could die knowing I had a dirty bathroom.
In summary, of course I would feel better if I did less. Everyone would. I think we should all be on vacation 9 months out of the year and work the other three. It's not like I run around all frantic because I have so much to do. Well, in the morning I do, but I'm not a morning person! Most days, I get at least 30 minutes to just zone out and do nothing (that's called driving to work), or knit, or watch the news and the Daily Show with my sweetie. That's pretty good, I think.
So, simplify? I'll try. In the meantime, I hope my hormones somehow acheive nirvana and sort themselves out so I can feel a little bit better.
How many is too many?
I am not obsessive-compulsive but I do lean a little that way.
For example, you know how you write a post-it note for someone that says "call me" or "sign this and return to me asap", et cetera, and you stick it on a contract, bill, or a whatever? It could be for anyone. Doesn't matter who. Do you ever write it more than once?
I can write a note consisting of 5 or fewer words but spend 3 minutes writing it and go through 5 or 10 post-it notes (refer to my earlier post about being wasteful) until I get everything just right. The type and color of ink, the handwriting, the position of the writing on the paper, the color of the post-it or paper, everything has to be exactly how I want it.
How long do people spend reading my notes? Probably a nanosecond. Which I guess is why I want it to be as excellent as possible - because they'll only have a glimpse of it and a glimpse of niceness is better than a glimpse of sloppiness. Isn't it?
Admittedly, some people admire my handwriting, so I do have a mini-reputation at stake but no one really knows that I do this. Is this extreme note-writing behavior? Do I need professional help? Are there any other people who labor over something so simple? Maybe we can start a support group. Post-it note Perfectionists Anonymous. Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?
Intolerable Beauty: Portraits of American Mass Consumption
If you haven't seen it yet, this photography is beautiful (and distressing to some). I am so guilty of consuming a lot, discarding a lot, and even being slightly wasteful from time to time. I try not to, or at least I try to be conscientious about it. There isn't even a recycling bin in the apartment complex where I live and I've done nothing to lobby for one and I don't go out of my way to recycle much either.
Shame on me.
Well, shit. I just typed a really long post, hit publish, and encountered the dreaded Internal Server Error! My post is gone forever, I fear.
I think the gods are telling me 'ix-nay on the ogging-blay while you're at ork-way'.
I'll try to muster the inspiration later to recreate the post which was pure genius, if I do say so myself! And since there is no evidence of said genius, who are you to say it wasn't?! It was... Heartfelt! Riveting! Totally self-indulgent! It's electronic therapy! E-therapy. Why didn't I think of that before? I'll be rich. It'll be the daily reflections of a self-deprecating, self-doubting, and premenstrual woman with obsessive-compulsive tendencies.
Won't that be facsinating?! I know you can't wait!
I should be writing pieces like this instead of just linking to them, but that's neither here nor there. Linguist Goerge Lakoff, of UC Berkely, has
decoded the inauguration speech yesterday and determined it is all about money. Shocking, I know. The thought had occurred to me but it was such a repetitive speech I couldn't really focus on anything. Anyway, this is brilliantly written. Pay attention, people! More about that at a later date.
I'm out of cubicle-hell and off to enjoy my weekend. Ciao!
Alanis would think so...
I was supposed to go to the doctor today. It's been a long time and I need to go because I canceled my appointment in October. I have to go to the doctor pretty regularly since I had my thyroid glad
destroyed
almost two years ago. At any rate, my TSH is all screwed up and I need to get in and and get a full check up to find out what's going on. So, I really didn't feel like going today and I couldn't really afford the visit (since I am going outside of my insurance for this doctor - she's really good) but I decided I really needed to go and rather than cancel and have to wait 3 or 4 more months to go again, I'd just go. I thought maybe I'd right a note on the check like Lucy: "be a lamb and don't put this through until next Tuesday". =) So, as I am fretting about whether or not they would let me postdate the check, the receptionist called and said they needed to cancel my appointment today because Dr. H was.... Sick! Isn't it ironic?! Yes, I really do think!
So, the moral of this story is, don't worry about postdating a check for your doctor until you get there! All that worrying for nothing! I wasted at least 5 minutes this week wondering what I was going to do. The other lesson I learned is that if you cancel your appointment, you have to wait 3 months to get back in, but if they cancel, you can get in next week. *scratches head*. If they had appointments available next week, why couldn't I take advantage of that back in October when I first needed to go?
Even if she
did
go to the University of Texas, and even
if
they use the headbanger sign to root for the Longhorns, it still looks dumb! What a maroon!
Boing Boing: "Jenna hearts Satan" T-shirts
This is hilarious! I can't believe I missed this classic moment! At least there is something to smile (or laugh my ass off) about today. Those Bush girls sure are classy, eh?
But, I guess it's really not that funny. I can't think of a single reason to be happy about the inauguration today. And I heard the speech was dreadful but I haven't been able to bring myself to read it yet and I certainly didn't watch it. This is depressing. I tried to be in denial about it but reality is slowly seeping in. Looks like Jenna is in denial or perhaps she really is just clueless which is totally different than being in denial.
I need a drink.
CNN.com - Gov. Kinky -- the next leader of Texas? - Jan 18, 2005
If I still lived in Texas, I think I would vote for this
guy.
I especially liked these comments:
"I want to be governor because I need the closet space."
[H]e wants "to fight the wussification of Texas."
"I am determined to get back to a time when the cowboys all sang and their horses were smart," Friedman said.
Friedman has said he expects his campaign to be unconventional, irreverent and star-studded. He knows it will be tough to win in the heavily Republican state, but he thinks he can win votes from people fed up with bland politicians.
"We hope the people of Texas are going to reject the choice of paper or plastic," he said.
I wonder if he needs any campaign aides. I might consider visiting Texas for that job. It certainly would be interesting! We need more smart asses in politics. I am so tired of all the dumbasses we've got!
Found via
homegrowndaisy.us
So many other people have said it and I will repeat it: it is completely shameful the amount of excess, extravagance and ostentation our country is displaying this week to crown King George. I know people who are going to this event and I don't think it's as much about celebrating democracy as it is about partying and hob-nobbing with other wealthy Republicans. It's truly unbelievable. And gross.
It is a democracy so let's do whatever we can to make our voice heard.
CNN.com - Music group 50 Foot Wave's bad timing - Jan 17, 2005
I do love me some Kristin Hersh. CQ turned me on to her solo stuff and I've always liked Throwing Muses. Anyway, I know there is no such thing as bad publicity and the people who would like her music would surely forgive the bad timing. Notwithstanding the recent tragedy, it is a really cool name.
Monday, Monday
What can I say? It's Monday. I normally don't complain about Mondays, I'm more disdainful of Tuesdays myself, but after a wonderful and relaxing weekend with my honey, I had a disasterous and dreadful episode with my teenage daughter late last night. I won't go into the details but, suffice it to say that after a web of lies and some stonewalling on her part, we ended up driving about 40 miles at 11:00 p.m. to pick her up. We got home after midnight and my already-an-insomniac-bed-partner had probably the worst night in recent memory which culminated at 7am to the sound of our CAT peeing in our shower. How bizarre is that? bleh.
So, the the teen angst will now become parental angst for at least a month while she's grounded.
Anyway, it was a strange weekend. I hope this week improves. How can it not?!
Voila! One of my current knitting projects (for my hubby, CQ). It's proving to be a challenge. But I will finish this weekend. Of course, it's going to be 75 degrees this weekend so he'll just have to admire it instead of wear it.
One more example of how uptight and superficial we are in California. Some people were upset about this (click post title) even though it is true. I believe the two highest paying careers for women are Supermodel and Stripper. Do I think this is right? No. Is it a fact of life? Yes. I don't want my daughter to be an "exotic dancer" and I personally wouldn't do it, but I've known people who put themselves through college that way and who am I to judge them. Every conservative fundie nutjob out there should be congratulating them for paying their own way instead of winding up on welfare. Besides, I know for fact that there are more than a few conservative fundie nutjobs who are the ones putting dollar bills in the g-strings every day.
As for the boy who wants to fish, I say "Right on!". Whatever floats your boat.
Happy Friday
I am still trying to figure this thing out. I just haven't had a block of time to devote to it yet. The two things I want to do most are: set up a blogroll, and post some pictures. Patience is not one of my strongest attributes.
too much cold medicine gives you the shakes
I am encouraged by this news from an
Army sergeant who doesn't want to go back to Iraq. I am happy to know that some people are able to think for themselves and make extremely difficult, personal decisions despite years of military indoctrination. It seems like a no-brainer to me but I am continually surprised by how infrequently most people question things. Especially in the military. I know that soldiers aren't always known for their ability to think critically, when you follow orders you don't have that luxury unless you want to be miserable, but it seems like everyone should have that thing inside that tells them when something doesn't feel right. How can shooting or bombing anyone ever feel like the right thing to do, especially when they didn't do anything directly to us in the first place? duh. That's obviously a rhetorical question.
Anyway, I will be following this story closely. All my support and good wishes go to the Benderman's.
This is one of my favorite subjects and the article is only 2 days old! I promise to get more timely as I get into the swing of this blogging thing.
Interestingly, I have gone from being a blurker to a blogger and the linguist in me strongly resists the terms but not the activity. I cringe every time I think or say something like "blogosphere" even though it is what it is and there is no stopping it. And, I am enjoying the experience. So, I am
trying to embrace the evolution of language as we communicate more and more online, I still have a love and affection for traditional English and grammar that cannot be diminished!
Coming soon...
Pictures will posted soon. I am trying to download the software at work which is probably not too wise, but since I already have my bosses' cameras connected, you'd think they wouldn't mind if I connected my own. I had tons of cool pictures on my hard drive but in December my entire system took a huge crap and of course I lost about 3 years' worth. I can dig through email and salvage some of them but most of them are probably lost forever. That's what I get for being such a 'tard.
Anyway, hang on and I'll post something interesting. At least I think they are.
It's a Glorious Day!
The best thing I can say about today so far is that it is absolutely bee-yoo-ti-ful. And it's payday! I to take a trip over to the Yarn Lady and picking up a ball or two to knit something pretty for my sis-in-law but I don't know if I can do that yet. She just finished a grueling graduate program and I am so impressed and proud of her! I don't know what I would make yet anyway but it will probably be a scarf since that is the only thing I know how to knit well.
Les livres - ca coute cher!
Oy vey! I just found out that my textbooks for my French 3 class are $150. For two lousy paperback books. That's on top of the $82 for the biology text, I need. I know I need this class but... crikey! I guess I'll be eating ramen for lunch again for the next two weeks.
What I want to know is, how do the textbook-selling-people manage to persuade the school-teaching-people to try a new freaking edition every goddamn semester? You can't possibly find the new edition as a used book, therefore saving a little cash, and if you find it on Half.com, you only save like 3 bucks which is then spent on the shipping charges. Brilliant! What a racket. Of course, the best part comes at the end of the semester when you go to sell the book back and they tell you that they won't be using that book again next semester, or they are overstocked, or some other nonsense and you're lucky if you get back $10 on your $150 investment. Wow. I love higher education!
Maybe if I had gone to college when I was supposed to, the books wouldn't have seemed so expensive. Of course, everything is relative so it's probably exactly the same.
C'est la vie!
I need a nap
It's 2:22 p.m. I need a nap.
A work in progress
The blog that is. I'm damn near perfect! ha! Although I am a part-time narcissist and full-time malcontent (see profile), I hope to one day have a blog that is worthy of all the other blogs which have served as my inspiration (you know who you are, I hope). It is so comforting to know that sprinkled throughout the planet, there are people with interesting, intelligent things to say and they do so publicly so that I feel a little less isolated. And to all of those people, I say "thank you" for expressing yourself!
I have no plan or vision. I don't even have a mission statement. I only have an inkling of an idea of what I'm going to do here. I do know what I'm not going to do here though - I am not going to whine or complain (without good reason), and I am not going to expect anybody to give a crap what I say. I am going to try to enjoy the process - which is what life should be: a process, not a finished product. Therefore, I suppose, it will always be a work in progress. At any rate, I hope someone enjoys this.
