Meme-o-rama
I know it’s only been one day since I did a meme, but I am in a meme-ing mood and I found this 40-questions meme at
Maison Pants and it was love at first meme. Won’t you play along?
1) My uncle once: forwarded a personal email from me to everyone in the family.
2) Never in my life: have I been so broke but so happy with my partner.
3) When I was five: I thought the voices in my head would never stop.
4) High School was: a complete nightmare.
5) I will never forget: the first time I saw Mr. Q.
6) I once met: a bum who thought he was from outer space.
7) There’s this girl I know who: thinks I am a pretty good mom.
8) Once, at a bar: I saw John Crier.
9) By noon I’m usually: reading my 4,000th blog of the day.
10) Last night: is not appropriate for discussion here. ;)
11) If I only had: a million dollars, we’d never have to eat Kraft dinner. But we would eat Kraft dinner, ‘cause it’s good.
12) Next time I go to church: I will try not to write really inappropriate things in my bulletin.
13) Terry Schiavo: never wanted all that attention.
14) What worries me most:is my children’s future.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: my new pet fish, Grahammy Chapman.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: my Sony AM/FM/TV/Weather Band radio.
17) You know I’m lying when: I say "Viva Bush".
18) What I miss most about the eighties: Wham! Hahaha. Seriously, I don't miss much except the music and the way it made me feel.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: Ophelia.
20) By this time next year: I should be out of debt.
21) A better name for me would be: Mrs. SmartyPants.
22) I have a hard time understanding: why money is so important.
23) If I ever go back to school I’ll: ...wait, I'll be there tonight. Dammit!
24) You know I like you if: I don’t roll my eyes whenever you walk by.
25) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: my fans.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: all had a bigger impact than they probably intended.
27) Take my advice, never: say never. Also, never get anyone's name tatooed above your ankle, even if their name is also an adjective and you have it tatooed all in lower case letters and you think you can play it off later by saying that was your nickname or something. I know you're puzzled by that, but just trust me.
28) My ideal breakfast is: black coffee in bed.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: that song by the Shins that Natalie Portman was listening to on her headphones in the movie Garden State.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: a frontal lobotomy. Why would you want to visit my hometown?
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: have got me stumped.
32) Why won’t people: get their priorities straight?
33) If you spend the night at my house: please get up and feed the cat at 4:30 a.m. Thanks.
34) I’d stop my wedding for: no one.
35) The world could do without: so much misery. Also, reality TV, cell phones, and George W. Bush.
36) I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: watch Bill O’Reilly.
37) My favorite blonde is: no one that you know.
38) Paper clips are more useful than: the credit card offers I receive in the mail daily.
39) If I do anything well, it’s: whining and freaking out about things I have no control over.
40) And by the way: it’s your turn. Please take this meme and entertain me!
Now with even more insecurity!
Great! One more thing to feel insecure about. I found this
Readability Index Calculator for blogs on someone else's
blog and now I have a major complex. Apparently, I am writing on a 3rd grade level. On a positive note, I am 83% readable. So, while my overuse of one-syllable words is alarming, even to me, I guess it's more likely that a mainstream audience would be able to comprehend what I am saying. I know that doesn't make it any more interesting, but I can hope. Actually, wait, what am I saying?!
RESULTS
Total sentences: 589
Total words: 5,068
Average words per Sentence: 8.60
Words with 1 Syllable: 3,777
Words with 2 Syllables: 884
Words with 3 Syllables: 286
Words with 4 or more Syllables: 121
Percentage of word with three or more syllables: 8.03%
Average Syllables per Word: 1.36
Gunning Fog Index: 6.65
Flesch Reading Ease: 83.14
Flesch-Kincaid Grade: 3.80
You realize what this means. More syllables! I am going all polysyllabic from henceforth! It's surprisingly more difficult than one would imagine. Just try writing a sentence using only 3- or 4-syllable words. It's hard. Exceedingly difficult and challenging. Help!
It's a first
For my first real meme, I am proffering, for your enjoyment, the following which I found at
Something Requisitely Witty and Urbane. It is the
Huffington Blog Meme and it goes something like this:
"So, Arianna Huffington is starting a blog to which she has invited many big name celebrities, writers, politicians, and pundits to join in.
Among those signed up to contribute are Walter Cronkite, David Mamet, Nora Ephron, Warren Beatty, James Fallows, Vernon E. Jordan Jr., Maggie Gyllenhaal, Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr., Diane Keaton, Norman Mailer and Mortimer B. Zuckerman."
For whatever it's worth, here are the first five
dreambloggers that came to mind for me:
1.
John Lennon - for my inner rock star. Political rants. Nonsense. Maybe a little sex.
2.
Susan Sontag - for my inner intellectual. One of the most brilliant women. Ever.
3.
Dorothy Parker - for my inner snarkstress. She was the original queen of snark.
4.
Peter Sellers - for my inner child. What drives this comic genius? Inquiring minds want to know.
5. The last one is the hardest. Maybe one of the Monty Python boys. Oooh, I know!
Terry Gilliam needs a blog!
I am pretty sure none of those currently exist but I would certainly bookmark them and check in if they did. Who would you read if you could read anybody?
Bonus: if Pat Benatar had a blog, I would probably read that too.
*wink*
Don't let this happen to you
In honor of Professional Secretaries Week, I have decided to post a couple of the funniest and most embarassing typos that I have spotted in my job as a Secretary. I capitalized the title "secretary" because it's a phenomenal pain in the ass. These grammar
faux pas-eses were committed by high-level people, that is people who are in charge of Very Important Things (for example, a city or something).
"Sorry for the incontinence."
"... my sister-in-lay will be joining me in sponsoring this exciting event."
"...erotic control is achieved through the use of Best Management Practices." (should have said "erosion control").
In these three shining examples, I am fairly certain that the authors relied upon their spell-check to make them look good and probably didn't ask their assistant to help them thinking they had it under control.
On a side note, I do not like to be called an
Administrative Professional or Adminstrative Assistant. Partly because when I was 20, I thought it sounded like a terrific job for a poor, white girl like me, but now I know better. Partly because it has the word "ass" in the middle. Partly because there are too many syllables. I don't know. Calling the garbage man a Sanitation Professional doesn't change the fact that he picks up our garbage.
I am a secretary. I set up meetings, make travel arrangements, research and analyze data, type letters and email sometimes, and a whole slew of other interesting things like filing and making coffee and unjamming printers and copy machines. What makes me special, aside from being incredibly cute, is I can get you a charter plane and a limo at a moment's notice. I know where to find the best hotels and how big their meeting rooms are. I have about one million phone numbers memorized. I can find anything on the internet in the blink of an eye. I am the information queen. I am a resource goddess. I am 411 and Google all wrapped up in a cute outfit. I make my bosses' lives easier and I make them look good at what they do. All of this reminds me that I really need a raise!
Anyway, today is our Secretaries Day, I mean, Administrative Professionals' Day Brunch so I am off to eat and be served by the men and women we serve all year. This is probably my favorite work day of the whole year.
Happy Tuesday, Y'all!
Weekend Re-cap
Let's see. Friday night was spent furiously searching for a pair of pretty shoes to wear to a wedding. Mission Not Accomplished. Apparently, finding a pair of shoes that a) matched my outfit, b) made my feet look pretty, and c) cost under $100 is still a pipe dream for me.
I spent the remainder of Friday night talking my sweet, buttercup-of-a-son out of joining the Army. No offense to everyone serving our country in the armed forces, but the Army is not appropriate for my sensitive and artistic son.
Saturday saw a 2+ hour drive with the Quilty clan squished in the back of a smallish car driven by Mr. Toad, a 4 hour wedding and reception, a sunburn, and a 3 hour drive home. I spent the rest of Saturday carefully explaining to my son that I will be kicking his ass if he joins the Army. I even got to talk to his girlfriend who thinks I rock and she and I have decided there will be a joint-ass-kicking if that boy of ours doesn't tell the Army recruiter to take a flying leap and pick on someone a little less vulnerable.
Sunday was basically lunch, homework, and grocery shopping followed by taking of the daughter to ER for a sprained ankle. I then got to watch helplessly as said daughter almost did a face plant (or two!) trying to walk on crutches. We got back home at 10:30 and I fell into bed an hour later.
Monday, exhaustion is setting in. I have a big project due at work on Wednesday, school at night, bills to pay, and doctor visits. Plus I am dog-sitting for my boss this week. That's normally a good thing, but this week it kind of throws a monkey-wrench into everything.
Chaos? Welcome to my life!
My mind is made up but my mouth is undone
You Are a Snarky Blogger! |
You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.
And that's why they read your posts as often as they can! |
Is that true?! I hope so, but due to a severe shortage of comments, I really don't know. Sometimes it feels like the only one reading my blog is me. But then again, I really do it mainly for my own amusement. Still. It's nice to get a compliment now and again.
Speaking of cool blogs and compliments, I found a new one that I like. Check out my latest addition to the blogroll:
Moo Alex.
Blogging is easy but going without comments is hard. I hereby declare this Lurker Amnesty Day. In honor of Earth Day, won't you come out of hiding and tell me what you are doing today to make the planet a better place today? I will be recycling everything recycleable, as usual, and if I see litter outside, I am going to pick it up and throw it away. While you're at it, you can tell me what's missing here, what you like, what you'd like to see more of, etc. I know this blog could use more cowbell, but that's been done to death, hasn't it?
Such Great Heights of Obnoxiousness
How boring, I mean cute am I?
If you thought South Park was obnoxious before, imagine it with Ms.Q, the most boring person ever. Only happy with a latte in her hand. Able to correct bad grammar faster than you can blink an eye. Watch as people flee the second she enters the room. Her only saving grace? Not-too-shabby GPA. And good hair. She might make a good match with Gregory from Yardale, with the Four-Oh grade point average, but she really has her eye on Stan Marsh. She really doesn't want to piss off Wendy, but Stan is so cute. Except when he barfs.
It's true, we watch South Park all the time at Chez Quilty. It is the best show on TV. I am not worthy to
imagine myself as a character but alas, I could not resist! The possibilities are endless, and yet, I am imagination impaired apparently!
Oh, originally kleptoed from Mac at
Pesky'apostrophe.
If you haven't read Mac yet, you are really missing out. Can that girl rant!
The end is nigh
In
another sign of the apocalypse, Ann Coulter, the cheerleader for the Armageddon is on the cover of
Time Magazine.
I have a few choice words for her, but, I won't be spreading anymore hate in the world. She's got enough for all of us.
Reader Discretion Advised
This post is not for the squeamish. Or anyone with a phobia of dentists. If you get anxious just thinking about the dentist, you should just move on, there is nothing to see here, folks. You've been warned.
Thankfully, I survived the dentist yesterday but it was probably the worst 4 hours of my life. Why 4 hours? Why the longer to torture you, my dear! I learned one important thing: dental drills and tongues do not go together. I am sporting a nasty gash/scrape/cut/abrasion on the side of my tongue where the BURR, that's right the burr, and my tongue had a brief rendez-vous. Paper cut? That's nothing compared to this.
I got two tiny fillings without novacaine. Terrific. They were so superficial that I didn't need any numbing. Went fine. Without a hitch. Except for the tongue thing. One other word of advice: when sporting a booboo on your tongue, do not under any circumstances try to eat a hot dog with relish afterward. Bad, bad, bad idea! Toffee Nut Latte with Whip Cream is advised instead. Mmmmm. Warm, yummy, caffeinated. Just what I need! More alertness. Doh.
As if the tongue incident wasn't bad enough, the kind doctor decided that I needed some topical anesthetic for my gums near the crown I was having replaced. Topical anesthetic doesn't sound too bad. Oragel is painless. Wait, what are those giant needles?! I have never had an aversion to needles, but get one near the back of my mouth and I kind of freak out. The pain of 3, count 'em 3, injections had to be far, far worse than any irritation my gums might have experienced with removing my nasty old crown. I had tears in my ears after that. Yes, the dentist made me cry. I have never cried at the dentist before.
The second time I cried was at the reception desk when I handed them my payment of $1056. I could have freaking flown to Paris for that amount of money. And stayed for a week.
Good times.
Anti-dentites of the world unite
.
Yesterday, I said it was going to be a great week. Well, I forgot one small detail.
I am going to the dentist today. It's a long story. Um, not so much long as boring. I was just there last summer but I didn't follow-up with the appointments I was supposed to. Anyway, suffice it to say I am going this afternoon and about $1000 later I should have a pretty new crown on my molar and clean gums. And maybe one less wisdom tooth (the last one I own is chipped). I know they won't do anything today except tell me how my teeth are going to fall out at any moment if I don't have the most extreme and drastic tooth saving procedures. I expect that I will get x-rays and a lecture today. Next week, perhaps, and for the next 3 or 4 weeks, I'll probably be back for a weekly dose of torture.
The reality is, my teeth are great and they look fine. I do need a new crown and a cleaning, but, man, I get really annoyed with their histrionics. I floss every day and obviously brush. I will gladly pay for preventative maintenance and all that, but I don't appreciate the drama. Going to the dentist fills me with dread and anxiety. I just don't like to have anyone that is not Mr. Q putting things in my mouth. You know?!
Hooray! It's Monday!
This is going to be a good week. How can I tell? I just can. Maybe because I have decided that I am going shopping Friday night after work. How long has it been since I've been shopping? I can't even remember that far back. We have a wedding to attend on Saturday, so I am excited to have a reason to buy a new dress and new shoes. I am thinking a cute A-line, springy type dress, maybe a darling cardigan to go over it, and a cute pair of wedges since the wedding is going to be at a park. Maybe even a cute straw hat. I'll start at Ann Taylor Loft and go from there. Yay, me!
The weekend was swell but went by in a blink. Q and his son went to Disneyland on Saturday to have some father-son bonding time. Me and Jojo went to the office where she helped me get caught up. Blogging is really wrecking my work life! I have got to stop. I deleted all my bookmarks, and I've tried to only blog at lunch hour or break time. I am doing better, but geesh, it's hard to be disciplined when there are so many interesting, informative and entertaining things to read. But, I digress.
I slept a lot this weekend, watched French movies and Monty Python, talked to family on the phone, briefly took Jojo driving, went to the office. That's about it. It really was an okay time. I am feeling more centered and relaxed than I have in a while. I've got that hopeful, optimistic feeling right now. Don't know what that's all about, but I am going to embrace it while it lasts! Y'all have a good Monday, 'kay?
Special Post for Mr. Q
I wonder where that fish has gone.
You did love it so. You looked after it like a son.
And it went wherever I did go.
Is it in the cupboard?
Yes! Yes! No!...
Wouldn't you like to know? It was a lovely little fish.
And it went wherever I did go.
It's behind the sofa!
Where can that fish be?
Have you thought of the drawers in the bureau?!
Shh!
It is a most elusive fish!
And it went wherever I did go.
Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
A-fish, a-fish, a-fish, a-fishy, ooooh.
Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
That went wherever I did go.
Look up his trunk!
Yeah, it's hidden in his trousers!
Tom Delay's House of Scandal
Weekly political post. James Carville personally asked me to spread the word and who am I to say no?
Day at a Glance
7:00 a.m. Mr. Q, patting me on the butt, says "Time to wake up". Me: "OK, I'm getting up." Repeat 8 times at five minute intervals.
7:40 a.m. "Oh, crap". Get up. Scan the TV for 15 minutes looking for weather report.
7:55 a.m. Get in shower. Take world's fastest shower.
8:00 a.m. Blow dry hair and get dressed.
8:07 a.m. Notice deodorant residue all over black shirt. Try to wash off.
8:10 a.m. Grab cup of coffee, purse & backpack. Calmly walk to and get in car.
8:11 a.m. Say to self, "At least traffic will be good today since the kids have Spring Break." No sweat, I'll only be a couple of minutes late.
8:15 a.m. Spill half of the very hot cup of coffee all over self. Sit in pool of hot coffee for 3 minutes trying to figure out what to do.
8:16 a.m. Try to find phone to call the office and tell them I'll be late. Notice cell phone on the floor of my car - way past arm's length.
8:20 a.m. Arrive home to change pants. [Note to self: Mr. Q still sleeping. Must get job like his.]
8:21 a.m. Get back in car. Start driving sans coffee.
8:22 a.m. Call work with sob story.
8:30 a.m. Put on make up and smoke a cigarette. (I know. I know. But it's just this once!)
8:50 a.m. Arrive at work with dark pink capri pants, black shirt with only a tiny bit of deodorant on it and cute heels.
9:00 a.m. Read e-mail and check a couple of blogs. Print out tax forms.
10:00 a.m. Oh, crap. I can't believe it's 10 o'clock. Where has this day gone?!
Here is hoping your day is less clutzy, less tardy, and less slackery than mine!
Escape Plan
Well, even though no one has given me the winning lottery numbers yet, here is Escape Plan B: Big hat, big sunglasses, slip out the side door, buy winning lotto ticket, cash it in, fly off to Monaco, seduce
Prince Albert and marry him but keep Mr. Q on the side to take care of my *ahem*
other needs. Not that Al isn't capable, it's just that I know no one is better than the QMan. Of course, I will set up a wing at the palace for the whole Quilty clan. It's going to be so fabulous! I've already informed Q of this and he is totally on board.
Eh, I can daydream can't I? I am still working on a real Escape Plan A. I'll keep you posted.
In other blogging news,
Skits is hanging it up. I am kinda bummed, but mostly I just want her skin! I wonder if she'll have a blog yard sale and give it to me at a discount.
This is better than Prozac
I was perusing my blogroll and happened upon
Jim In Tonic's latest quiz find. This is so right on, despite my post below where I talk about how goofy I was in high school. It's true people called me Pat Benatar and I know that was a compliment. I am not at all ashamed to admit that I identified more with Andie Walsh in Pretty in Pink than any other John Hughes' character. Everything about her, except she actually had a cool car and I didn't have a car at all. Oh, and I wasn't as mean to Duckie.
You are Andie Walsh (from Pretty In Pink)!
Misunderstood and full of angst, you are
intelligent, talented and will probably go on
to do great things...once you're out of the
hell of high school.
Which John Hughes Character Are You?brought to you by Quizilla
Introducing... Princess Jojo
I guess it's time to introduce you to the Teenage Quilty, aka Princess Jojo. You know, the one who gives me a thrombo every time I take her driving? The one who forgets to take out the garbage and do the dishes. She sometimes forgets to feed the cat. Besides all that, she needs to be locked in her room until she's 30, I think. Her friend took this picture yesterday.
There are two important things going on here. One, I definitely didn't look this pretty when I was 15, almost 16. I was awkward, dorky, and I had crooked teeth and bad haircuts ( I actually had a mullet in like 9th or 10th grade and people called me Pat Benatar). Why do kids look so pretty these days? Weren't we all a little goofy looking way back when? She isn't even the homecoming queen but if I looked like this at her age, I would have been the most beautiful girl in school. I know I am biased. But empirically, she is attractive. Right? I know I am right!
The other thing is this is my baby, my youngest natural born child. Anyway, I am kinda wrecked that she will be moving away to college (hopefully) in a mere 2 years and a few months. Unless she moves to another state to live with her Dad this summer, a distinct possibility which I really don't want to talk about right now. *Sniffle, sniffle*. As Jojo would say, "whatever"! I love her like you can't imagine and even though she reads my blog, I am not just saying that I will miss her a lot if she moves.
You may or may not know that I am normally invisible. That is my superpower and I didn't even ask for it. Well, actually I think being a poor is my superpower but that's neither here nor there.
At least I feel invisible much of the time. Sometimes, I am not as invisible as I wish I was, but often when I am waiting for something, I tend to get overlooked. I don't know if it's because I am petite or because I am not very assertive, but lately it really does seem to take longer than usual to get attention.
Saturday was a splendid day. Mr. Q went to get his hair cut and I tagged along. Afterward, we walked over to the fast-food place near the salon and I ordered something to eat. Mr. Q didn't order anything, but since it was so beautiful outside, he got us a table outdoors. I waited inside. And waited. And waited some more. I went to the bathroom and there wasn't any toilet tissue. They fixed that problem right way. But I was still waiting for food. Other people were waiting also, so I know they weren't picking on me.
When I was the last person left waiting for food, a woman in a business suit gets up from the table next to where I was sitting patiently (I really was being patient because I am reformed). She hands me her business card and says, "Hello, my name is Sheri Miksa. I am the CEO of *this restaurant chain*. I can see that you are having a really long wait and we are not having a very good day here. I want to personally apologize and give you these coupons for free food. Please come back and give us another try."
Whoa! I rubbed my eyes and pinched myself to be sure I wasn't dreaming. Not only was I acknowledged, I was actually accommodated! By the president of the company. How often do you wish that would happen? I thought it was cool. Guess where I am going to eat tonight?!
*Plug of the day:
Rubio's. All you West Coast people, go there for ono grinds. Stay because they have an outstanding CEO.
Randomosity
First things first. Go see me play
Match Game at
Mikey's. I am excited to be a panelist. And you should go play too 'cause it's fun. Woo hoo. I'm gonna be famous now.
Secondly, I am feeling like a putz. I am having the worst semester ever. Of course, I have completely overstayed my welcome at community college so what does that say about me? Biology class is super easy, but BORING and French is tres difficile but I have an excellent teacher and I
am learning French. The problem is that I am pretty impatient and half of the time, after waiting for what seems like an eternity for the other nitwits in class to answer questions, I tend to answer them which must make me look like a know-it-all or a brainiac or a nerd or an I-don't-know-what. It's not like I'm Horshack, but apparently, some people hate that I often "know" the answers (even if I am frequently wrong). I really need to try to keep my yap shut. But, at the same time... Why do they hate
me? The really smart guy on the second row answers more questions than me, he participates more and his accent is flawless. But why don't you hate him too? Is it just because I am a girl? Why is it that it's only catty women who have a problem with me?
Last night, a girl I often work with threw a hissy fit when I corrected her during our small group session. I tried to apologize but she was a complete twat about it. Listen, chickee, if I thought you were an idiot, I would tell you. I am sorry I make you feel stupid, but I am not sorry for trying to do well in class. It's my education and I am taking the initiative to get the most I can out of it. If you resent me for that, I don't know what to tell you. And remember, no one can make you feel bad without your permission. I know you are only 22 years old but are supposed to be adults now, so get over yourself, defend your position if you disagree with me and quit acting like a juvenile. We have to be in this class for another month, and you know we'll have to work together so please just deal with it.
Thirdly, I really think people learning English should be discouraged from reading blogs, particularly mine. I love making up words and seeing made-up words, like Randomosity, but it has got to be confusing to people learning the language! English is hard enough for native speakers as it is, so I doubt we are helping matters by making up words.
Fourthly, I know a
girl, who is not only an excellent writer but a really great human being, who started a
blog and she should really have more traffic. My decree for the day: You should drop by for a visit and say hi!
Fifthly, being broke sucks. 'Nuf said.
Sixthly, they are playing "Such Great Heights" by the Postal Service on the radio right now. That song so makes my day. How can I be miserable when you hear that song? I can't! So, on that happy note, I am signing off and wishing you a fabulous weekend!
Bon week-end!
Calling all Philosophers
NPR : This I Believe
I meant to post this the other day. I was totally inspired by a piece on
NPR. Impossible, you say? I know. It's so rare.
"Fifty years ago, Helen Keller, Jackie Robinson and Harry Truman, along with thousands of everyday citizens, answered a call to express their beliefs in a national forum.
Now it's your turn."
Since all of my readers, in addition to having very good taste in the things that they read, are also very articulate and intelligent (which is totally a reflection of me! But I digress), I think you would be ideal candidates to submit an essay about what you believe. If nothing else, reading the essays should prove to be very thought-provoking.
Now, I know that most of us try to be witty, irreverent, cynical to varying degrees, and so on, but I believe that not far below the surface, an introspective, sensitive, compassionate, and deeply philosophical person is aching to be liberated. I know you have something inspirational to say and that it would be a travesty to withhold it from the common people.
According to NPR, all essays will be archived. Some will be read by the author and aired nationally. Personally, I think just having an essay in the archive would be an honor.
"But," you say, "this is too much like a high school/college assignment." I know, but your essay will be among other essays written by people of high esteem and intelligence. How cool is that?
So, I propose that you at least read the essays, and write one if you are so inclined. I am still mulling over the idea for myself, but I will publish it here if I do decide to.
Gee, I thought they were serious
Have some time to kill? Ever wondered what would happen if you replied to Mr. Ambrose Ali, a native of Capetown, South Africa and a senior employee of the South Africa Ministry of energy and Mineral Resources who needs your help with a large sum of money? Go
here. I found it on
Chepooka's site and it looks like a hoot!
Doh.
Have you ever gotten to work and discovered that your shirt was on backwards?
Me neither.
Um, excuse me. I need to go to the powder room. And it's
not so I can turn my shirt around.
Happy Hump Day!
Lest we forget
I don't normally link to
Daily Kos 'cause I'm just not that smart, plus I'm pretty sure everybody is already reading it, but I think it's important to note that there are some special things to remember about the Republicans and their fairweather approach to all issues moral. The blogosphere is full of quotes and instances where right wing loonies were spouting off about the Pope at one time, particularly regarding his opposition to the US's unprovoked invasion of, I mean "liberation" of, Iraq. But the quote below, for some reason, struck me hard.
Conservatives are attaching themselves like barnacles to the legacy of Pope John Paul II, portraying him as an ideological soulmate of President Bush. Of course, they haven't always felt that way - especially when the Pope was opposing the President's policies. Here's Sean Hannity, from January 2003
COLMES: ...And before you respond, let me just put up what the pope says. "No to war," says Pope John Paul II. "during his annual address to scores of diplomatic emissaries to the Vatican... `War is not always inevitable,' he said. `It is always a defeat for humanity.'"
Are these a bunch of wild-eyed liberal loonies?
HANNITY: Yes.
So there you have it.
Why is that?
I have decided that, much in the same way that a meal always tastes better when someone else prepares it, it is always more exciting to hear a song accidentally, or unexpectedly. Yesterday, on my way to school, I heard "Pulling Mussels From a Shell" on the radio. I was so jazzed! I realized that I had a Squeeze CD in my car so I popped it in. It rocked, and it took me back, but it didn't get me quite as excited as when I heard it on the radio. You know? Why is that?
You can't ebay just one
Check it out! I always wanted to know someone who ebayed (is that a verb yet?) something funky and now, thanks to the modern miracle that is blogging, I do!
Mikey and
Joelle are auctioning off a
Pac-Man-shaped potato chip that they have named Stan. The proceeds are for a really good cause, so go to e-bay and bid on it tout suite!
Oooops! I almost forgot the best part. As if helping out a good cause like the
Rock the Walk AIDS benefit isn't incentive enough, the winner of the auction also wins a Ham!! And who doesn't like Ham? I don't know if it's a honey baked ham, or a big ass ham or just an ordinary Hormel kind of ham. If you are Jewish, otherwise kosher, or vegetarian, I am sure you could negotiate for something else like a giant brick of tofu or something! (Disclaimer: I have not asked them about this, I am only assuming since they are supremely cool and very nice they would consider it. It doesn't hurt to ask is all I'm saying.)
You say parameter, I say permimeter
"Geographical and temporal perimeters. Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation." - Handbook for the Recently Deceased
"The clinical picture indicates cardio-circulatory and renal insufficiency. The biological parameters are notably compromised." - the Vatican press office
Is it just me, or does it sound like the Vatican is quoting from Beetlejuice?
(Editor's note: Credit for this observation goes to Mr. Q. He has attained the level of expert movie line quoter. *Swoon*)
Public Service Announcement
Daylight Saving Time starts on Sunday at 2:00 a.m. Don't forget to change your clocks by moving the little hand forward by one hour on Sunday, April 3, 2005.
Bonus PSA: It's a good idea to check the batteries in your smoke detectors now, too. Many fire departments encourage people to change the battery in the smoke detector when they change their clocks, because it can be so easy to forget otherwise. "A working smoke detector more than doubles a person's chances of surviving a home fire," says William McNabb of the Troy Fire Department in Michigan. More than 90 percent of homes in the United States have smoke detectors, but one-third are estimated to have worn-out or missing batteries.
Don't you hate it when...
Don't you hate it when...
your shoes make a funny sound when you walk and the office is so quiet that everyone can hear the funny sound when you walk by?
you have a TON of work to do, but the Pope is dying and you don't want to miss that magical moment when the headlines change from "Clinging to Life" to "John Paul II has Died"?
you have a TON of work to do, but people keep updating their blogs so you have to keep reading them?
you finally decide to get off the internet and get some actual work done, but then your boss asks you to look up something on the internet and...? Well, I just can't resist! Stop it!
you hate blogging but you know that like 3 people really enjoy what you say once in a while so you feel kind of obligated to post something?
it's April Fool's Day and you dislike it strongly but keep looking for clever pranks to pull on your friends anyway?
Yeah. Me, too.
Happy Friday, y'all! Hope your weekend rocks.
