You're Welcome!
Embarrassing confession of the day:
Many times a day, I get phone calls wherein someone asks me to do something and I agree and then before
they even say thank you,
I say you're welcome. It goes something like this:
Ms. Q: "Hello, [el Jefe's] office."
CEO: "Hi, [Ms. Q] is [el Jefe] there?"
Me: "No, he's not in his office right now, would you like to leave a message?"
CEO: "Just tell him I am returning his call."
Me: "Okay! I'll give him the message!"
CEO: "Okay, great."
Me: "You're welcome!"
Doh! I don't mean to say it prematurely, it's just automatic. It's a conditioned response that I give just before I hang up. Sometimes the caller will say, "I appreciate it" and then I say, "You're welcome" but that doesn't really make sense either, does it? I didn't go to
finishing school or anything, but it feels like the only appropriate combination is Thank you/You are welcome.
Here is where I need help. I think these are appropriate combinations but I second-guess myself all the time. After all, just because they are in wide usage, doesn't make them correct or appropriate.
Them/MeThanks/My Pleasure
Great/Great
I appreciate it / No problem (my least favorite)
Ack. It's driving me crazy. It feels like my mouth is made up but my mind is undone! And speaking of Elvis Costello quotes, here's another fitting one for today: I would rather be anywhere else than here today.
If I don't see you all before Tuesday, be sure to check out
Moo Alex where I will be a GuestBlogger on Sunday, July 3rd while she is on vacation. Also, have a happy and safe Fourth of July! I'll be back here Tuesday at the latest, hung over and possibly sunburned. Won't we all? Toodles, y'all!
This is priceless. The Starbucks Oracle has spoken!
I make no apologies for being a Starbucks customer. After all, they started as a single store, a mom-and-pop if you will, and through
mafia-connections a solid business plan and brilliant concepts as simple as good customer service, consistent products, and strong name recognition, they have grown and grown and grown and granted, they may take over the world, but who can blame them when they make a damn decent cup of coffee. My local neighborhood Starbuckseses are stellar in that they have awesome employees and they treat me like a friend, know how I like my drink, and occassionally reward my loyalty by giving me a freebie. I always know what I'm going to get and they are fast. Expensive? A teensy bit. But worth it. I don't really
need gas for my car. Now, I'm not saying that I wouldn't go to a local joint if I had any near me, because I totally would. But I have few choices at the moment, so I'll take what I can get and I'm not going to hate them just because they are succesful.
My drink of choice lately is a Grande (or Venti triple shot) Nonfat Toffee Nut Latte with Easy Whip. When I plugged that info into the handy-dandy oracle slot, this is how he replied.
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: High Maintenance
You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.
Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars
Yeah, I guess the truth hurts. It's probably true, especially about my friends. Add my kids to that statement also. I haven't been spotted at too many trendy martini bars lately, unless you count my house, but if I could, I probably would!
[link via
Feministe]
Good times
Please tell me it's Wednesday and this week is almost over.
I had a rough night (not in the good way either).
Then, this morning I woke up at 8:08 which is a time that always tickles me a little because on digital clocks it looks like BOB and then I think of my favorite commercial at the moment where the kids say "Do the red one, Bob!" [
Mikey wrote about it already so I won't rehash it. Yes, I will. I really love when the kids say "now do the gold one" and Bob says "It's Desert Sand Mica" and then the kid says "Whatever, just crash it."]
Back to my day. I woke up at 8:08 and that is exactly 8 minutes after I need to leave my house to get to work. Um, needless to say, I am not looking my best today. I actually got to work about my usual time (8:45) and I can't really explain how that happened. However, without my morning ritual I doubt I will be my usual chipper self today. Not that anyone will notice because my usual chipper self is only about a half a notch above total whiny baby.
If I am a total whiny baby today, you know why! Happy humpday anyway.
We can all use a little change
My morning started with one strap of my favorite strappy heels breaking right off, which it has been threatening to do for a while now. I fully expected it to happen at any time so I was able to avoid a complete mental breakdown.
Later, more stuff happened but I don't really want to talk about it right now. I'm okay, but I probably need to schedule a mental breakdown and get it over with soon.
Then, as if I didn't have enough stupid things to worry about, I installed
HaloScan for comments. It looks pretty cool and it will give me greater control over comments but in the process of updating my template, I lost all of my old comments. This made me very sad. I have a copy of all of your comments in my email, but it's not the same when other people can't read 'em anymore. I don't know about you, but half the fun of reading blogs is often reading the comments. Boohoohoo. You are all so nice and funny and now I've deleted the evidence! I am really sorry. I hope that you will comment in the future at least. It really makes my day.
Is that supposed to happen? Did I screw something up? If anyone knows maybe if they can be restored, let me know.
Update: It looks like you can still view the comments by clicking on a post title on the sidebar or going through the archives. So, I haven't lost them after all. Or have I? I am getting a little confused. And I hear a latte calling my name. It's been 5 days since my last one! For no reason, 'cept I'm trying to be less extravagant. Go, me! Update, Part Deux: I have taken down HaloScan, no offense to them. My comments weren't broken, so why fix them. You know? Geesh, I sound like my dad now! I really don't need to manage my comments yet, and I didn't like that I lost the email notification function that Blogger provides. I will do some more investigating and will change my comments when I am ready!
Brainy Blogging
This could be interesting. So, go. Take the survey. It's MIT, so it has to be good. Plus, I originally saw it at Mikey's so you know it's a worthwhile endeavor. He has never led us astray, ever.
Speaking of interesting, I had an interesting weekend. Here is a synopsis:
Friday night: Mr. Q and I met our first ever blog-friend in person, who is known in the internetswebosphere as Jo-Fo the Mo-Fo. We went to a gig of his. He rocks! He is seriously talented. And I'm not just saying that because he reads this blog. JoFo has a gift and I hope he does get a recording deal one day (soon) because he is that good. Also, he is super nice, funny, smart, and cool! He has a very pretty wife, and adorable baby, too. I think we might be friends! =) We talked and laughed between sets. Watched and listened and felt the music during sets. It was a great night.
Saturday night: Went to dinner in Beverly Hills at a very nice home of an aquaintance. I am so not white trash, y'all!
Saturday night, continued: Got home late from a lovely and charming dinner. Stayed awake the whole rest of the night due to simultaneous drunken fights/altercations/domestic violence taking place at our neighbors' (several all at once). Sheriffs were called. We watched our very own live episode of COPS. Must re-think white trash status. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt. Young people really need to be taught how to handle their liquor. I'm just saying.
Sunday: Sunday was kind of a blur, but I think I roasted a Turkey. Yeah, I'm pretty sure there was roasting involved. There are only 180 shopping days until Christmas so I must have been trying to get psyched up for it before the Christmas displays and decorations go up in the stores (any minute now!).
Anyhoots, Happy Monday!
News of the Day
The news out of Iraq today is heartbreaking. But did CNN have to use this headline?
Bloodiest Day for Female Troops in Iraq. Come on. That's not appropriate. We don't need your clever word play today. Please be serious. This is a serious story and I don't appreciate any innuendo at all.
In other news,
Tom Cruise is an Idiot. I semi-watched the Today show this morning while I got ready for work. I would like to know where he got his medical degree. It's already been said all over the internets. So, I'm not going to go there right now.
What pisses me off is that depression and other mental illnesses ARE chemical imbalances and they can and should be helped with medication where indicated and necessary. Depression can be fatal if left untreated. I know because it almost claimed my life once.
Here are some links for more in-depth information on depression. I have left off the links to pharmaceutical companies. I realize there are problems in the pharmaceutical system, but there are serious conditions that can be helped in some cases only with medication. You wouldn't treat insulin-dependent diabetes with just vitamins. You need medication. There is still a stigma associated with getting help for depression or any other psychological disorder. There doesn't need to be.
Since Tom Cruise is offering his unsolicited advice on a variety of topics, I'd like to offer my unsolicited advice to everyone and say - Stop listening to Tom Cruise.
Shameless Begging
Skip to the end if you don't have the patience for my rambling today!
While starting to write the world's longest run-on sentence, I realized that my dignity isn't really helping me pay the bills or save money for my upcoming college tuition, so I abandoned it altogether and I am crossing my fingers that maybe people out there are feeling generous and charitable and might throw a few dollars my way now and again so that maybe I can actually buy the text books I need for college without going further into debt.
You kind of know my sitch. We pay alot to live where we live and we are starting to seriously consider moving somewhere sleepy and charming and cheap. Somewhere where my rent doesn't equal more than 30% of our take-home pay. Until then, we are kind of stuck here and I am due to register for fall classes in a couple of weeks. So far, my college education has been cheap or practically free, but now that I am transferring to a State University (cheap for college but still a lot of clams; clams I don't have right now), I realize that I haven't gotten any scholarships yet, and I will have to get a loan. I think education is worth going into debt for (at least to some degree) but I have debt up to my eyeballs already so I am not exactly thrilled to acquire anymore for any reason.
So, I've thought about it and I am going to go ahead and put the button over there (the one that says "DONATE"). Click it if you want or don't. I'll still like you all just as much if you don't and I hope you'll like me still, too.
If you do decide to generously donate any amount, I will be forever grateful!
Daily Grinds
As promised, my free food of the day update: I scored a piping hot plate of barbequed chicken breast with extra sauce on the side, garlic mashed potatoes, delicious cole slaw and a half of an oatmeal raisin cookie. Total cost: $.50 for a soda, which was totally optional.
Uh-oh. It just occured to me that now I can't feign total starvation and whine tonight when my sugar-daddy tells me that we're eating Ramen! I need to re-think this "what I ate today" bit. It's not really going to help me in the long run! How can I expect get sympathy when I am eating like a queen at work? On the other hand, it (the update)
is helping me realize something important. All my life, whenever I needed anything, it has always been there. I've been dirt-poor but always provided for. Now, I am not dirt-poor, but I am not rolling in moolah either. I am one of those people who will get an unexpected bonus and then have complete, massive car trouble the next day. And, I am always glad that the money is there when I need it. I guess I'm kind of like Even Steven.
Oh, and the $3 I saved by not buying lunch today? I will spend it on my way home from work when I buy my evening latte. One more example of me not getting ahead! doh! But, life's too short to not drink a latte everyday!
The Story of my Life
Ready for a pointless story? Of course, you are. Why else would you be here? hehehe. Damn, I crack myself up. The following true story happened today and it serves to illustrate the utter pointlessness of my job, if not my life:
I am expecting an important call today and while walking by the fax center at work, a mere 50 to 60 steps from my extremely luxurious and spacious cubicle I hear my phone ring. I pick up the call, remotely. The caller has the urgent information I am waiting for and they apparently can't wait for me to get back to my desk so that I can conveniently write it down. OK, no problem, go ahead. I grab the nearest, and incidentally the only, writing implement which happens to be a yellow pencil. It's not just yellow on the outside; it has yellow lead also. Simultaneously, I grab the nearest, and incidentally the only, writing tablet upon which to write the important information, which happens to be... drumroll please... a yellow pad! Hilarity ensues as I try to press the yellow pencil down really hard thereby making an impression of the information on the pad since I couldn't really read the notes I am writing otherwise!
For a second, I felt like I was being punk'd or on candid camera or something where everyone was watching what my reaction would be to this situation and laughing their butts off at my hilarious note taking escapade. Alas, no one noticed, as is my daily experience. Nonetheless, I can't help but feel someone somewhere has a sick sense of humor and laughs daily at my expense. Narcisstic? Perhaps! Aren't we all? Big deal? Not really. Just another case of simple things becoming more difficult than they need to be. That's all.
Oh d-d-d-dear!
For my own entertainment, I took this quiz. I am trying to break my previous record of doing almost no work at work by actually doing no work at all. So far, so good. I am afraid that I will probably get something accomplished today since I don't leave until almost 6 p.m. and it's only... wait! what is this? It's 4:20. Not that I know what that means or anything. Oh, nevermind. Here is how it's all gonna end for me.
You scored as Natural Causes. Your death will be by natural causes, though not by any diseaese, because that is another option on this test. You will probably just silently pass away in the night from old age, and people you love won't realize until the next morning, when you are all purple and cold and icky.
Natural Causes | | 80% | Bomb | | 73% | Suicide | | 73% | Posion | | 67% | Disappear | | 67% | Disease | | 53% | Gunshot | | 53% | Accident | | 40% | Eaten | | 33% | Drowning | | 27% | Cut Throat | | 27% | Stabbed | | 27% | Suffocated | | 20% |
How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com |
I found it at
Cheeky Prof's and I thought I might score like her, but no. I guess that's a good thing. I'm not really that jazzed about being found "purple and cold and icky" though! But I suppose when weighed against my other options, I guess it could be worse.
Big Mooch Strikes Again
Ms. Q reporting here from her desk where she eats lunch everyday and sometimes works, but usually she just writes a blog post. Working at a rather large professional firm has one definite advantage - free lunch. More days than not, someone has a lunch meeting and, more days than not, there are leftovers. It seems that at least one meeting per day has catered food brought in, and I am
lucky smart enough to know that 1:00 is mooching time. I have perfected the Art of Mooching, so if you need any pointers, feel free to ask me!
It's like the Lunchtime Lotto around here. I never know what I'm going to get. It could be fabulous, so-so, or nothing. As in "You'll get nothing and like it!"
Anyway, one o'clock comes and I'm on the hunt. First stop, Big Kitchen. On good days, there is hot lunch. And, I'm not talking school-cafeteria-lunch style. These lunches are catered by Famous Restaurants and Top Notch Local Restaurants. Mmmm. Other days, it's kind of hohum, sandwiches or wraps. Not bad, but not a big meal. Then again, I am a Vulturette so I can't complain. Somedays there is nothing or by the time I get there, all the other Scavengers have beat me to it and all that's left are scraps. Depending on how hungry I am and how unmotivated I am to go out, I have been known to eat scraps.
I know this all makes me sound
really classy and attractive like a complete loser, but I feel like I am doing my part to keep good food from going to waste and I am saving a buck or two (or ten) on lunch.
What's on the menu today? Sandwich fixin's and potato salad. I made myself a pastrami and cheddar on rye sandwich with a little stoneground mustard and some mayo. Black olives and artichoke hearts on the side and a small helping of potato salad. I am not a big potato fan, but I am sure there is some nutritional value there that my afternoon latte won't provide me.
Thanks for joining my culinary adventure today. I might make this a daily feature, you know, like this blog
What I Wore, but it will be 'what free food I scored today'. I'll spare you from pictures. Maybe.
For those in the know, it's solstice today. Being the non-hemisphere-centric person that I am, I am wishing everyone a happy solstice, be it summer or winter!
If you are in the northern hemisphere it's Summer Solstice - the longest day of the year. I've always thought that a bit misleading, though. The day isn't longer in time, it's just longer in sunlight. Unless you are somewhere cloudy and then it doesn't make a damn bit of difference.
If you are in the southern hemisphere, then I am guessing it is Winter Solstice - the shortest day of the year, again a bit of a misnomer.
And if you are in the Arctic Circle - the sun won't be going down for a while! How cool is that? I would love to see that once in my life.
Antarctica - you'll be plunged into never-ending darkness for a little while! Which makes me wonder: do penguins have night vision?
So, celebrate in whatever way you choose. Personally, the coolest thing I've ever done was go to the
Fremont Fair and Solstice Parade in Seattle, the three years that I lived there. This year it took place last weekend and I don't live anywhere near there but if you get a chance you should go one year! If anyone did go this year, tell me if the
Nekkid Bicyclists are still participating.
Better living through chemicals
I finally scored some dope! No, not
that kind. Last night, as promised, I picked up my
doctor prescribed medication and, I have to say, I am feeling much better already. Surely, it's partly psychological but, nonetheless, it is a great relief to know that my hormones are on their way to being 'normal' (whatever that is) soon.
In other Quilty news, my superawesome father-in-law, surprised me earlier this week with a new book--
Oxymoronica. A box was waiting for me on the front porch Wednesday night when I arrived home. It wasn't ticking so I opened it and voila! a new fun book about wordplay and ideaplay... for me! He is so thoughtful. I have not looked at the website for the book yet (linked above), but the book is great.
I still haven't decided where I am going to move in my great runaway from Orange County fantasy but I am considering, you know, walking the earth, meeting people, getting into adventures. Like Kane in Kung Fu. I'll let you know when I leave!
In the meantime, have a splendid weekend and tell a Dad you love him!
Clark!
Conversation between me and you-know-who just after the earthquake this afternoon:
Me: did you feel that?
Him: what?
Me: we had an earthquake.
Him: when?
Me: about 30 minutes ago. I was worried about you but I got busy and I'm just now calling.
Him: no, I was driving. I didn't feel it.
Me: oh, 'cause I had a whole vision of you driving into a huge crack in the road like Lois Lane and dying.
Him: no, I'm okay so you don't have to make the earth spin backwards to save me.
Me: oh. yeah. Well, that's good.
PSA: Kids, Don't Try This At Home!
Due to a series of unfortunate mishaps with finances and a wanker of an insurance company, and a serious warping of priorities, I am now on day 10 of no medication. The medication in question is Synthroid, a synthetic thyroid hormone. Did you know that your thyroid regulates every cellular process in your body? It does. And, as it turns out, I have a defunct thyroid gland. It was hyperactive (
Graves' Disease,
an autoimmune disease that attacks your thyroid gland) and now it's
inactive. After years of alternate therapies and medications to control it, I finally relented and swallowed a radioactive pill containing iodine meant to destroy a tiny portion of my gland. Unfortunately, you can't know how much damage it will do until you try. We (my endocrinologist and I) started with a super small dose of Radioactive Iodine. It destroyed the whole gland. That means I must take thyroid hormones everyday of my life. If I want to function properly, that is.
I know that my devastatingly handsome husband doesn't want to write about what a bitch I've been lately so I will do it for him. (Side note to the Mr.: thanks honey for trying to save my reputation!).
What happens when you need synthroid but don't take it? At first, it's fine but after a week without meds you start to get really tired. Add your period on top of that and we are talking major fatigue. Second, you get nauseous every morning. You have a hard time getting up in the morning, which makes you cry because you are upset for running late and you're tired so it's all too much to deal with. Then, your hair gets really dry and brittle and starts to fall out. All the while, your mental processes begin to slow waaaaay down so that simple tasks become difficult and you can't spell or type anymore. You start to leave words out of sentences and when your re-read them you don't notice because you've turned into a big retarded, crying mess. Also, you become a big clutz. Your voice gets hoarse. Your skin gets dry and easily irritated. You get constipated. You lose your appetite or forget to eat (maybe that's just me).
The worst part though is that you start acting contrary and you don't even know it. Every thing everyone says causes you to respond in a manner that is rude, short, condescending or just plain disagreeable. But you don't even know it because your perceptions are kind of warped. That causes you to be more disagreeable when the person you are talking to says "You sure are disagreeable" and you say "No I'm not!".
All this to say, sorry to my family. I've been a big weenie. I didn't mean to be. I will get my meds tonight, I promise. I'll be better in a week and I won't let my prescriptions lapse again. Ever.
This was also a public service announcement for all the people out there who may have some of these symptoms and not know why. Get your thyroid checked. It's easily and successfully treatable (provided that you are a compliant patient, which I am obviously not!). You don't have to live with a thyroid imbalance.
From the local paper today:
The Orange County housing market set another record in May as the median selling price hit $590,000, DataQuick reported today.
It's the fifth time in six months that median prices have hit new highs.
April's old record was $576,000. May's median price is up 8.7 percent from a year earlier.
Maybe it's just me, but it sounds like the newspaper is bragging about this or celebrating this fact in some way. All this says to me is that we live in an area where paying too much for a house is ok, which is another way of saying that a bunch of frigging idiots live here, or they are normal people who are overpayed or overextended. Can we say "interest only loan"? Do you realize that after paying interest only for 5 years, you have ZERO equity in that house? This makes sense how?
One more point I'd like to make - we were house sitting at el Jefe's mcMansion this past weekend (it is very nice, don't get me wrong), but we noticed that all the residents of that fine neighborhood appeared to not be home. Were they all working? Traveling? What exactly is the point of paying $2 million+ for a house if you are never there to enjoy it?
It is definitely time to move. I can't even tell you what kind of crap $590,000 buys you here. Priced out? That's an understatement. We need to know the best bohemian bargain out there. I'm packing my bags right now.
See ya, suckers! I am pretty sure we wouldn't pay that much money for a house even if we had it. The "OC" can suck it!
This post decompensates* so fast it doesn't deserve a title
Why I need a camera phone...
Here are two of the interesting products I saw at the 99 cent store check out stand last night (shut up, yes I went to the 99 cent store. Like you don't. And if you don't, you should. They have PopTarts for $.99!) :
- Be Sure - Home Pregnancy Test. Sadly, that might be the extent of the total prenatal expenditures of the people who would use a home pregnancy test from the 99 cent store. Damn, poverty sucks.
- Boogie Busters - children's nasal spray. For your snot-nosed kid, the one you conceived using 99-cent store condoms and found out about using a 99-cent store home pregnancy test. Next time I get boogies in my nose and I only have 99 cents, I might consider buying this product. That name cracks me up!
Everything else in the store is basically named what it is, but its packaging very closely mimics the 'brand' name. Example: Window Cleaner (Windex). Furniture Polish (Pledge). Pan Spray (Pam). Soap (Tide). I haven't been brave enough to try many of these, but the Window Cleaner works exactly the same as Windex but it's only 99-cents. For real. I saved like $3 or $4 on window cleaner.
Damn, my mind has just gone blank. That's why I need a camera phone; to capture and record for our amusement the other hilariously named products at the store.
Anyway, being broke can suck it! Money, you stupid fucking bitch, I hate you. I know I am spoiled. Being comfortable is something I have come to take too much for granted. I can't get a latte today and I feel like it's some great tragedy. What is wrong with me? I know it's all relative and if I didn't live in freaking McMansion land, I'd probably feel pretty darn affluent. As it is, I feel like a pauper and I am ready sell everything I own and go live in a tent in the desert somewhere and commune with the birds and snakes and bugs. Rich people can suck it, too. You aren't helping either. Other people who can suck it: my bank, my creditors, my landlord, and my phone company.
*While we are at it, the word of the day is: decompensate. To "decompensate" means to fall apart mentally and emotionally. Decompensation occurs during the onset of a psychotic process. Non-psychotic persons may decompensate when the stressors they are faced with are greater than they can cope with.
Clueless in California
I am sort of cross-posting this here and at
SRWU. Since every one in the office has run to the lobby to watch the Live! Michael Jackson! Verdict! on the giant plasma screen tv, I am taking this opportunity pick the greatest minds in the blogosphere. (That would be you!).
Here's the deal...
Recently, there's been a bit of crazy in my life and I am starting to seriously fantasize about running away with
this guy and doing something completely new. I am in a rut, and also going nuts, if that makes any sense.
We are not going anywhere anytime soon. Just for the record. In case my friends, family or co-workers stumble upon this entry.
But! If we did go somewhere new, where should it be? I am curious if you now live or have lived in a place that you think is *perfect* and why you think it's perfect. What makes your city/town/village/'burb/tent the best? Knowing what little you know about me, do you think I would like it? Or, where is your fantasy move-to place? And, why?
Perhaps you don't have a place in mind, but a way of life. For instance, have you traveled around the country by bus or train or Winnebago? Been in the Peace Corps? Joined the Foreign Legion? The Witness Protection Program? I am taking all kinds of suggestions. Just for research purposes, of course!
Leave as much or as little detail as you are comfortable leaving. Nominate a city or region or lifestyle that you think I might love. I know I am not the only one who is itching to start somewhere new, so you'll be helping out others, too! Won't that feel good? So, tell me where I should go. Wait. Let me rephrase that. Tell me where I should go, unless it's to hell, and then just skip it because I'm not interested!
For reference, I have lived in Fort Worth, TX; Honolulu, HI; Seattle, WA and all over southern California so I already know what those places are all about.
Let the commenting begin!
Weak Endings
Much like my children, it seems I have recently neglected my wee little weblog. It's the little weblog that could, I know. But only if I give it lots of attention and tlc. It's only been 4 days since the last post, but as I discovered this weekend, a lot can happen in 4 days. Also, I discovered that kids are more important than weblogs (duh) and without the attention and tlc, you can lose them to the dark forces of adolescence.
Highlights of the weekend include: watching many, many movies (and crying), hottubbing and hanky panky (and some crying), going to a graduation party (and a little crying), checking my bank account balance (and crying), waking up to an earthquake (actually no crying was involved in that case), finding out the Teenage Quilty broke some rules at home while we were out (and crying), talking about TQ moving in with her dad (and crying).
So, it was quite a tumultuous weekend, what with all the crying. Thankfully, my friends, P, M, and S have gone away now so I won't be crying so much anymore! At least for another 28 days.
There is more to say, but it's Monday and these guys at work who sign my paychecks are kinda expecting me to do some work so I am momentarily forsaking you, my lovely readers, in the name of earning a buck or two and hopefully paying some bills. I hope you don't mind. I'll be back at lunch!
Recommended Reading
I have to pimp out
Mr. Q's new blog, yo.
As you know, I think he is the bee's knees. What you (and I) didn't know is that he can blog with the best of them. If his first post is any indication - dude, I am totally out of business! I can't compete with writing like that. In my defense, he received an excellent and advanced education, he comes from top notch genetic stock, and he is naturally an exceptionally talented man. Did I mention that he's totally hot?! He is sex on wheels! And he's mine, all mine! Mwahahahaha! I, on the other hand, had a poor public school education which I never finished, come from the very shallow end of the gene pool, and am only moderately talented. But, in a genius stroke of luck in this life (perhaps my only one), I managed to snag the best catch of all! Props to me!
Anyway, I am extremely proud so
please go show him some love! There are some funky template issues he is still working out. If you can't view the whole page, just minimize and maximize your window and it should work just fine.
The Bernard Pivot Questionnaire
For your reading pleasure, I present
le questionnaire du Bernard Pivot.
Based on James Lipton's version of Bernard Pivot's famous questionnaire, I would like to submit for the record my own answers to the questions you see at the end of each
Inside the Actors Studio episode:
01. What is your favorite word? Harmony.
02. What is your least favorite word? Can't.
03. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Words.
04. What turns you off? Rudeness.
05. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck.
06. What sound or noise do you love? Wind.
07. What sound or noise do you hate? Spitting.
08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Pilot.
09. What profession would you not like to do? Sales.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Yes, there are lattes in heaven!
I originally thought of doing this months ago, but never did. Today, I saw it at
Polyester Bride and stole the idea back that she stole from me that I stole from James Lipton that he stole from Bernard Pivot.
Leave your answers in the comments section, por favor!!
What a Card!
June 7, 2005
Dear person who buys greeting cards for my local supermarket,
I want to commend you on your unsurpassed brilliance and tremendous insight in understanding exactly what our greeting card needs will be. Earlier this evening, it was with utter amazement and stunned silence that I inspected your greeting card selection. Your diverse assortment of occassions boggled my brain. Here is only a small respresentative sample of the unique greeting cards I can choose from:
Graduation - from kindergarten, first grade, second grade, high school, college, teaching credential, MBA, and auto mechanic school. What, no Beauty School?
Father's Day - from the son, from the daughter, from the step-kids, from the wife, from the ex-wife, from the dog and from the cat. What, no parakeet?
Communion
Confirmation
Bar Mitvah - for your cousin's neighbor's friend. Oy! No, second cousin on your sister-in-law's side?
Dance Recital
US Citizenship
Lost Job
New Job
Condolences - Sorry about your loss. Sorry that stock you just bought recently tanked. Sorry about your divorce. Sorry about your ingrown toenail. Sorry about the STD I gave you.
What I found lacking was a simple "Miss You" card. You see, my son just went into the Army, and I wanted to send him a card saying I miss him. I figured there would be at least one or two, but the only one I saw was romantic in nature, and therefore inappropriate for me.
In the future, I will know exactly where to go if my vet's nephew's teacher's son is having a bar mitvah. In the meantime, I will be buying all my greeting cards at the car wash.
Sincerely yours,
Ms. Quilty
Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Anne Bancroft dies at age 73 - Movies - MSNBC.com
Anne Bancroft, has
passed away from cancer at the age of 73. One of my favorite actresses, not just for her portrayal of Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate" but in all of her other roles, too. I loved her. In person she seemed to be a lovely woman, and she must have had a tremendous sense of humor since she has been married to Mel Brooks for over 40 years, I think.
I will miss her a lot.
Quilty Quiz
The other day, someone asked me the origin of the Quilty name. For everyone's information, Quilty isn't my real last name. 'Ms.' isn't my real first name either. Anyone who emails me knows my real first name but I'm not writing it here. Some of you know my real last name but most people don't.
Most people also know that I go by Ms. Q, because it's fun to say and since I am a linguistics student, I love words and the way they sound. I also know that miscues are more common than most of us realize. Also, it underscores the theme of my life which has been one miscue after another!
As for Quilty, you'll have to figure it out. The clues are all here if you know where to look. Also, my husband (Mr. Q, who started out as CQ) will be launching his very own
blog soon! There you will see the biggest clue of all. If you think you know, leave it in the comments so the others can benefit from your high level of cleverness!
Mysteries of my Universe
These are the things I wonder about constantly... Perhaps you do, too.
Why does the copy machine always run out of paper right when I need to make copies?
Ditto for the coffee in the kitchen.
How does one get cat hair off of a fleece jacket? Three lint brushes can't do it.
Is it possible to wait until you have backed completely out of a parking space before you start yakking on your cell phone?
Ch-ch-ch-check me out!
I am guestblogging this week over at
Something Requisitely Witty and Urbane. Dylan is going on vacation and I
begged asked him to let me be a guest blogger. Check me out there. You might learn something new about me or about the world. And you will probably also get to read insightful posts by other people who are even more fascinating than I am (as if that's possible!).
The other thing to check out is that I went to an engagement party yesterday at a beautiful house in the town where I live. That's not the cool part. It turns out that a cousin of ours (no slouch himself) is marrying into a fast food dynasty and the patriarch of the family and the owner of said fabulous home was none other than
Carl Karcher. West coast people may know who that is. If not, they will at least know what Carl's Jr. is. Most recently in the news for their
controversial Paris Hilton commercial (which by the way, I am sure that Carl Karcher had nothing to do with). This guy is an
American success story, and despite reading about some unflattering affilitations early in his life, he is a genuinely nice man with a lovely (and huge) family. He and his wife, could not have been more gracious and welcoming. I am not usually easily impressed, but...dude! I was at Carl Karcher's house! I shook his hand.
When not rubbing elbows with rich and famous people, I was being pampered by my beautiful husband. He rocks! This is the best Monday ever because I am rested and he pampered me so much. I love me some Mr. Q!
Long Time, No Meme
In a
shameless pathetic bid for comments, I am asking all three of you to play along with this little thing I stole from
Mac who stole it from
Mikey. Just fill in the blanks (but be nice).
I ____ Ms. Q.
Ms. Q is ____.
Ms. Q thinks a lot about _______.
When I think of _________, I think of Ms. Q.
If I were alone in a room with Ms. Q, I would _______.
I think Ms. Q should _____.
Ms. Q needs ______.
I want to ____________ Ms. Q.
If I could describe Ms. Q in a word: _______.
If you decide not to play, I still wish you a happy Friday and a
bon week-end.
*bisous*
Post-Anniversary Wrap-Up
Why I should not be allowed to drink a margarita on an empty stomach:
1. I might dine-and-dash*.
2. I might go to the market afterward and forget to buy coffee for the next morning.**
3. I might leave the moon-roof of my car open on a night when it rains. ***
*In our defense, we were there a little over an hour. It's the kind of place where you seat yourself. We sat down before happy hour was over. Someone walked by about 20 minutes later and said your server will be so-and-so. She never acknowledged our existence even ONCE. But she did wait on a lot of people who arrived after us.
We finally went to the bar to order two drinks and a basket of bread. We tried to pay the bartender and he said to just go back and sit down. Someone else brought our drinks and bread and, without a word, dropped them at the table. Our server still never came by. We tried to go in and pay at the bar, but no one wanted to help us there either. We didn't have cash on us so we couldn't just leave some at the table. Eventually, we just left. Apologies to everyone who has ever been ripped off by thoughtless assholes. We weren't being assholes, we just couldn't get any attention.
The margaritas were really good though.
** Yes, with a mighty buzz on, we went to the market to get a few items. One being coffee for the morning, without which I can scarcely function. The other important item - notebook paper for the Teenage Drama Quilty. I walked in the house and proudly announced that I bought the paper she had asked for. In a funny and maybe karmic twist, the coffee never even made it to check out line. The paper did- but we forgot to scan it and pay for it. It was still sitting at the register of the market when I went in this morning in my caffiene-deprived state. So, now the paper is at school with the TDQ and I finally got a cup of coffee.
*** I think we opened the moon-roof to the pop-up position last night on our way home. I forgot to close it and what do you know - it rained last night. Luckily, the rain mostly stayed on the outside of my car. I am afraid I'm going to get a funky musty smell in my car now from the dampness. Bummer. More payback, I am sure!
The rest of the night was great. We had cake and we didn't vomit! It was actually pretty good. And he liked my gift - a new shaft for the 9 Iron that I broke last year. Since his set of clubs can't be replaced, I had it re-shafted and re-gripped and I think he was really happy about it. The guys at the golf shop pretty much told me not to use his golf clubs ever. I am prohibited from ever swinging that 9 Iron again, but I am glad to see it back in his bag again - in one piece.
Traditions for the Non-traditional
Today is very special, indeed! One year ago, at exactly 4:20 p.m. , I married my best friend and lov-ah, the fabulous Mr. Q. We'd already been partners for several years but we made it official 365 days ago. Well, 364 days, 19 hours, 54 minutes and 38 seconds ago to be absolutely precise. And, if anybody knows how much I like precision, it's Mr. Q!
If you aren't sure yet, we are a tad bit unconventional. I mean, normally we just don't do things the normal way. That means observing traditions is a mixed bag with us. We are more likely to make up a new one than to follow an old one, but we need a point of reference in order to blaze that new trail.
We have a piece of our wedding cake in our freezer. Since I never had a wedding cake before, I don't really know how this is supposed to go. You are supposed to eat the piece today, right? Does whipped cream freeze and thaw well? Are we going to get food poisoning? I would hate for today to end with vomiting!
As for gifts, tradition dictates paper as the gift. That's easy. I have a post-it note pad right here. Happy Anniversary, Baby! But modern times say a clock is the appropriate gift for the 1st anniversary. We have enough clocks and watches already and my budget won't allow for anything too extravagant anyway. I even have a clock made from paper already so I can't do that. I guess I could draw a clock on a piece of paper and present it with a lovely quote about the timelessness of our love. That's probably been done before.
Anyway, it's a moot point now - I decided last night what to do for the gift. Since my Mr. reads this blog, I can't tell you what it is until tomorrow. It has nothing to do with paper or clocks but it does involve something green.
To my baby - Happy Anniversary!
To the rest of you - toodles!
